


A Frigid Ishgardian Night

by abby_trash_cat



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Patch 3.0: Heavensward Spoilers, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 19:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14983859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abby_trash_cat/pseuds/abby_trash_cat
Summary: The Warrior of Light has always been a master at hiding her emotions. She was a weapon, after all- a tool to be used to benefit Eorzea. But after the death of her dearest friend, the warrior doesn't know if she can go on like that anymore.---Timeline details: HW, the night of the Vault raid.





	A Frigid Ishgardian Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of the story that's haunted me ever since I first played it. The death of Haurchefant broke me, and I hope to break you all as well ♡
> 
> I chose to write the WoL as a girl because, well, I'm a girl, and this is me mourning. It also just seems to write easier that way. Sorry if you wanted a guy's perspective, mate. 
> 
> Angsty angsty angsty angst~

The operation had been such a failure. A complete and utter  _failure_. 

Just when they thought that they were going to stop the archbishop, weapons in hand and victory in mind, there was an attack from behind. The beam was directed at the Warrior of Light, the realm's bacon of hope. In one instant, all could be lost. 

And the crisis was averted, but the Warrior's world was lost all the same. Because only one person had sensed the attacker, and he had jumped in the beam's path in the Warrior's stead, shield in hand. 

"Haurchefant!" The Warrior exclaimed, her eyes alight. He had saved her? She was about to thank him, then to rush the attacker head-on. She would teach them, she grumbled, livid. 

But at that moment, Haurchefant's shield cracked. In one sickening instant, the blast tore through metal and into soft flesh. The attacker grinned, then returned to its master with a flash. 

There was yelling. The archbishop and his entourage were escaping on an airship. But none of that mattered. The Warrior of Light's vision had tunneled, and she could only see her dearest friend crumpling to the unwelcoming ground. 

She tried to scream, but no sound came. No. No no no no no. This couldn't be happening. 

In a moment that seemed to last an era, the Warrior of Light's dying friend extended his hand to her. She clasped it as tightly as she could, tears threatening to spill out and never cease. 

"None of... that..." she snapped her gaze to Haurchefant's face. He struggled to form the words, but the dying knight spoke them all the same. "The realm's greatest hero... cannot be seen without a smile." He forced a smile of his own. 

The Warrior, even with her eyes filled to the brim, managed to pull her lips upwards. 

And then her greatest friend blinked his eyes shut, his chest rising up and down for the last time. 

\---

The Warrior woke in the dead of night with a wail. Her heart raced, and her hands shook.  She brought her arms around her knees, curled up in a pathetic little ball that did not at all depict her as the most fearsome woman in the realm.

She hadn't been able to save him. If only she had been more alert, more aware of her surroundings... She would've taken out the threat, and Haurchefant wouldn't have dived into the way, and -

The Warrior choked back a sob, curling up even tighter. Haurchefant. Back when they had been searching for the Enterprise, he had lent them a helping hand and a friendly smile when no one else would. After the chaos in Ul'dah, he had given them a home. He had been her self-proclaimed best friend, her  _brother._ And now he was gone. 

The door opened with a creak, and the Warrior jolted her head upwards to find Alphinaud standing just outside her room.  His long, white hair was down, wavy from being in braids the entire day, and he was wearing a shirt definetly much too large to be his as a sleep shirt. One of the house Fortemp brothers', perhaps? Her elezen companion shuffled from foot to foot, seeming uncertain as to his place. "I- I heard you cry out. Are you okay?"

She didn't answer, opting instead to lower her gaze and tuck her legs furthur into her chest. After a moment of silence, the Warrior felt another weight on the bed, but she kept her head down. 

On ordinary terms, Alphinaud never would have imagined he'd set foot in the Warrior of Light's personal quarters. She kept to herself, for the most part, and Alphinaud let her - a woman needs her privacy, after all - but right now he realized that maybe they shouldn't have. The Warrior never seemed to show emotions, but of course she had to have them. She was keeping all of her pain to herself, and eventually she was going to break. Alphinaud glanced once more over the trembling figure, seeming so small, and cringed. If she hadn't broken already. 

"Hey," the younger boy tried, his voice as soft as he could manage. The Warrior didn't respond. After a moment's hesitation, Alphinaud wrapped an arm her shoulder. She flinched, and for a moment Alphinaud was afraid that she would pull away, but she eventually leaned into the touch. The elezen held her tighter.

"It's all my f-fault." Alphinaud's heart sank as the Warrior of Light whispered those words. "I could have  _saved_ him, I could have..." She raised her head at last, and Alphinaud finally broke as he saw the raw despair running in rivers down her cheeks. "If I had paid attention, then Haurchefant wouldn't be dead!"

"No," Alphinaud gasped. He pulled the Warrior of Light completely into his embrace, clinging tighter to her than he'd ever held on to anything before. "No. There's nothing you could have done. Everyone was focused on the archbishop. It wasn't your fault."

"B-but..." she clung at his shirt, and Alphinaud could feel her shaking. "He, he was..." The Warrior's words caught in her throat. Alphinaud let her catch her breath. "He was perfect, Alphinaud. He w-was kind and a great friend and a great commander and h-he shouldn't have..." The Warrior of Light sucked in one last deep breath, then let out everything she had been hiding with a scream. 

"He shouldn't have saved me! He should have just let me die!"

Alphinaud's breath caught. "No! Don't you  _dare_ say that!" The Warrior flinched at his tone. He cupped his hands around her face, forcing her to meet his eyes. "You need to  _live,_ " he whispered, softening his voice to try and ease some of the stress in the hero's eyes. "You're the savior of the realm. The whole nation needs you. But it's not just that." Alphinaud tried to crack a smile, but his own voice broke. "You mean so much to me. If you weren't here, if you d-died... I don't know what I'd do anymore."

There weren't any more words to say after that. He couldn't find any. The Warrior of Light took his hands in her own as he sat there, shaking. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. Alphinaud was supposed to be comforting  _her,_ not the other way around. That's why he was here. 

The Warrior thought differently, however. This felt like she was doing something. Something meaningful. She looked down at shaking hands, so small in her own, and she squeezed them tightly. Alphinaud was just a child. He didn't deserve to feel loss like this. He should still be studying somewhere, not risking life and limb to... to protect her, she realized. 

"I don't need protecting," she muttered aloud, not even realizing she had said it. She was the Warrior of Light, for the Twelve's sakes.  To her surprise, Alphinaud resumed the tight hug in response. 

"Maybe you're usually the one protecting us, but you're in just as much need of protection. You're mortal; you have emotions and a heart that can break just as easily as the rest of us." Alphinaud ran his fingers through her hair, doing everything he could to soothe the grieving warrior. "So please, just this once... let me help you instead."

With those words, the Warrior let herself melt. She sank into Alphinaud's arms, face deep in his chest, and she cried. She didn't make any sound; her voice was too far gone for that. It hurt. It hurt so much. Her sobs quickened as memories came flashing back: of smiles and mugs of hot chocolate and battles fought together, of laughter and kindness and warmth. Each one was like a hot knife being twisted into her chest. 

They sat there for the Twelve knew how long. Alphinaud continuously stroked the Warrior's hair, rubbed her back, held her tighter - anything to tell her  _it's going to be okay._ Of course, it wasn't. Not for a while, anyway. But until then, he'd be there.

"Do you want me to stay?"

For a moment, there was only silence as they slowly rocked back and forth. Then came the whispered reply, soft and fragile, "Yes." 

They maneuvered to lying, the Warrior still in Alphinaud's arms. He laid his chin atop her head, sighing. They just had to get through this night. After that, the two would be surrounded by those they cared about, their words of encouragement, and momentos of those they had lost. They would have help. They could get through this. But for now, and for forever, at least they had each other. 

Gradually the Warrior of Light felt herself drifting once more into sleep, escaping at long last from the frigid Ishgardian Night. 

**Author's Note:**

> Aha! I was right; writing this did hurt me. But also, cuddles. With the Alphy baby. Alphy cuddles are therapeutic, no?
> 
> I hope if you read this that you enjoyed it. I hope it brought back your Haurchefant memories in a bittersweet way. I love you all; goodnight.


End file.
